Death of a Hockey Salesman

First off, I love watching live hockey, its graceful yet violent exactly what a good sport should be. Secondly the United States, home of the majority of the NHL, seems to loathe the sport. Up in the shiny north aka Canada or what I refer to as "the loft above a really good party" absolutely loves this sport ( Lets face it that, is all they really have). Cannucks adore the damn sport more than they love their free health care (lucky ducks) and all the maple syrup in Saskatchewan.

Adversely in the US, hockey appears to be dwindling in popularity in the "professional" capacity. Did anyone realize that the Stanley Cup Finals just finished? Me neither. Even after the triple overtime game 4, (5th longest NHL game ever) I barely heard anyone debating around the water cooler about the intensity of the game. In fact, I didn't here anyone other than sports center analysts talking about it at all. What gives?

I don't know if its the fact that the general population doesn't understand how difficult of a sport hockey really is, or if there is truly a real lack of excitement. I mean fights aside (The only reason I watch any hockey) the excitement level of the sport is about the same level I had when I heard there was a Sex and the City movie being released. Hooray for a ten years later movie about NYC hoes 'n shoes! or whatever oh and a 2 star rating?? You GO Girrrrl! Oscars here we come! They should've released that movie under a double secret probation title like Sisterhood of the Traveling STDs. I digress...

Back to hockey... in the least rainbow way POSSIBLE I really enjoy ice skating as an activity and I think it should be a requirement for hockey haters to try. Seriously just try it, first try to even skate and then try to skate backwards, the try to do both while being knocked around more than Britney's career by 230 lb. hyped up goliaths.

Now that I think long and hard, I have a simple 3 step process fix for this problem:

1. Maybe the NHL needs to look at recruiting outside the "norm" like this amazing player.

2. Please just get rid of this guy altogether, Sports casting already has Craig Sager who's suits are outrageous but don't inflict automatic seizures.

3. Finally and MOST importantly the new "Savior of hockey" Sidney Crosby (age 17.75) needs to start dating the hottest girl available. Despite the sport's unpopularity, professional hockey players manage to date the hottest ladies on Earth. I suggest Megan Fox if she hasn't already made a terrible decision elsewhere in Hollyweird.

So thats my band-aid of a solution. Pretty awesome I know. Some smartee pants told me it is because we have so many other professional sports that the NHL falls by the wayside under golf and WNBA and the MLS (probably the most over rationalized excuse).

More than likely in the end hockey really IS a terribly boring sport to watch on TV and can only be enjoyed live spectable. I recommend attending a live game partnered with a cold overpriced nacho and 3 PBRs to get the full experience. Which is also just enough liquid courage for those unathletic dudes to yell at guys they'd cross the street for if they happened upon them in real life.

All and all I really just wanted an excuse to point out how bad the Sex and the City movie really is and that though majority America doesn't like hockey, any professional hockey player could stick kick all our angle side sides.

Tickets please, Bottoms Up and Enjoy.